too much!!!

So I am now officially 27 years old and i dont feel any different from when i was 26 except i dont feel like i lived up to my true potential, but i working on that as i speak, i finally know what i want to do with my life, its sad that it took so long but i take comfort in the fact that i am may not be the only way in this stagnate state of being. By the time i turn 28 i want to having my nursing license and be working in field, bettering my self for me and my husband. They say all it take is faith the size of a mustard seed, and lord knows i have that please more. The lord has been bless me and my husband continuously, even with somethings that i wouldnt seem as a bless but in the long run, really is. I have notices that i am being coming more of a spiritual person, not that all in your face kind of thing, because i am a very private person, but i learning to rely not on my self but the lord as well. this is were i think my down fall was because i was the type of person that though i could do it all make it happen, and all that jazz, boy was i so wrong he showed up and showed out in my life. I am taking it all in stride, i think that is all you can do, and be thankful for everything. Life of a married women is sure is hard, now i see why the divorce rates are soo high in America, when we got married divorce was not an option, and it still is. But goodness gracious it is some hard work that i wasnt all that prepared for but as we go along and my prayers for guidance  i am  trucking on, love and understanding of the other person is so the key to this thing called love. I am loving this ride and i dont want to get off yet, i may never want to get off!!!!!

WOW

So i just turned 27 and to be truthfully honest it doesn't feel any different then when i was 26 25 24, even though i wasn't all that excited about getting another yr older,but i was very thankful for the  lord letting me see 27. My husband totally surprise me yesterday while i was at work he brought me a birthday cake and sung happy birthday, i can say that i was really surprise and really happy. I guess after we had the conversation about him doing the little stuff to make me smile he really took that to heart. what was also exciting is that he went to church with me, now i haven't talked about this but that one topic in our marriage that has been a thorn in my side, i prayed about it cried about it, and we have actually have knock out drag out argument about him attending church with me at least once a month. i am not trying to get him to join or  make him believe what i believe. i do believe that one aspect of a happy marriage is a couple that go to church, because sometime the things your going through your answers can be right there at church in a sermon. i dont know that's just want i feel in my heart. back on topic i was really happy and proud that he actually accompany me to church, and wouldn't you know it actually got a lot out the sermon that he was preaching. This Friday we are on our way to new york to go visit my brother, that is my birthday gift, and we going to go to Niagara falls the us side because i dont have a passport, so this should be a fun filled weekend. my brother is in prison and he has been there for the last 20 years and the last time i seen him was when i was 16, so its been a long time coming. So what i am really stoked about is WE ARE MOVING, this is a long time coming because right now we live with his parents. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but we just feel that is is time to become a independent married couple, because honestly we cant do nothing that we should be doing because we are living in someone else house, so i can not wait we should be out of there by no later than the middle of march. its just a two bedroom town house, but its going to be our two bed room town house. the rent is going to be fairly cheap, for the two bedroom they want 499 which is originally 700 a month that  is just the special they have having for this year. well i am going to end because quite frankly i have nothing else to talk about, i will write something when i get back from new york. 

I feel like an asshole!

  K so like i said in my blog earlier that marriage is not easy!!!! I found that this week me and the hubbie have been arguing about stupid stuff all this week, and when i say stupid i mean stupid. So i found out that men especially my husband can not admit when they're wrong, so instead they say mean and hurtful things to hide the fact that just maybe they are wrong..so when he resorts to saying hurtful thing i resorts to saying hurtful things getting and attitude, so in the mist of my ranting and raving(the day before vday) I told him that he doesn't appreciate me, he not spontaneous. You know a girl likes to surprise with flowers, or candy or maybe just a card to show how much you care. well unbeknown to me he had went out a brought me gifts with all of my favorite thing, so needless to say i felt like a complete asshole. I love my husband and that will never change, but goodness i wish that he wasnt soo darn stubborn, or just maybe i need to learn not to react, learn that even though he ranting and raving i am going to get my way anyway lol 

so how was everyone valentines day

stop existing, and start living!!!!

 So last Sunday i heard this saying in a message that the speaker was preaching on, and it has stuck with me for all this week. I believe this phrase can have so many meaning, I want to start incorporating this saying into my life, because for so long in my opinion i have been just existing moving through life. I really didn't have any direction in life, i really didnt know what i wanted to do, what is my purpose, why am i here, what am i suppose to fulfill. Shoot i use to think i wanted to be a psychologist and so i spent 8 freaking years trying to achieve that dream that i thought i wanted so bad. its funny how in a blink of eye things change and do a 360, i not longer want to be a psychologist, i want to become a nurse, so i am enrolled in a excellerated program to get my LPN and hopefully in about 2yrs after i finish and work i want to get my bachelor degree in nursing. in this short journey that i am on it not about what i think i want, but what he has planned for me. I am not really sure what his whole plan is for me, but i hoping that time it will all be reveal to me.  life as a married women is become more and more easy, I am learning alot about how much self control i really have, because lawd knows you need it dealing with a stubborn man it have work and you have to show great self control because i swear sometime i want to lash out scream and punch him and or something. my mother has a saying that you can catch more bees with honey, and now it becoming so apparent that the statement is sooooooooooooooooooooo true cause not i get what ever i want lol. I know that's not the reason for marriage but its nice to win a battle every now and then. For all my married friend on here or couples that are getting married, it would soo nice to start a little community where we can share tips on having a good marriage, recipe or just to get and seek advice. because i know i need all the advice, all the recipe because i have a hefty husband who loves to eat. sometime i just need to vent and want a listening ear, with folks that are married, cause no offense you cant get advice about your marriage from a person who is not married or not even in a committed relationship.

so to end this post my question is what to the phrase "stop existing and start living" mean to you?

I havent been on here in ages

Man it been a long time, i haven't been on here in ages and alot of things has changed since then. I think i want to try my hand at blogging again, but every time i start i stop because it seem like nothing interesting is happen in my life.  Now all that has change, I think this blog will be about the ups and downs of my marriage, which by the way we are 7mos in Yay. Whoever said that marriage is hard work was not telling the complete truth. marriage is hard work that sometime comes easier with time and some time it doesn't. I hope that with our case it will be come easy. Man during your first year of marriage you have to deal with soo many issues,  such as  finances, when to have kids, buying a house not buying a house, living in a apartment, and even a big one such as sex. Is it too much( shoot if that would  ever be said) is it to little, how many times a week should we have sex. man the list goes on and on. I will also be blogging about my journey with god, my personal development, as well as our relationship within our marriage. so hopefully its a new year and lots of stuff to blog about.